Pesto and Parenting

(They’re related.)

Issue 15: From Sara Kate

Even before Dana and I founded a culinary school for young people, I was constantly coming upon metaphors between cooking and parenting; it’s one of the reasons I steered my career these last few years into using my food experience to reach children and families. 

When it comes to parenting, I’m a firm believer in giving children clear boundaries, and within that boundaried space, a balancing sense of agency that grows as they get older. This is a delicate maneuver that is not always easy to pull off, but when you nail it, it’s glorious. 

I can’t think of a better recipe in our Dynamite repertoire that represents that approach than our pesto. With the right families of ingredients (leafy greens, oil, cheese, nuts/seeds, acid, seasonings) it always comes out. There’s plenty of room to let kids feel like they are in charge. But, know you also might benefit from clearing out the mess of almost empty bags of nuts in the back of the fridge, or some just-about-past-prime greens. Lay it out to the kids like they’re steering the ship and everyone wins.

Oh make no mistake, kids, it’s greens for dinner, but you, sweet little one, get to pick them. Basil is “traditional” but don’t feel constrained. Maybe it’s the basil that makes you think you don’t like pesto? Get crazy, mix those greens up if you want to. You make the call on the spiciness, and you pick the citrus if we have a few in the fruit bowl to choose from. Maybe we don’t and then lemon it is. Allergic to nuts? Try seeds! It’ll be great and we’ll be so proud!

My daughter, at fifteen, is just now catching onto this dance, both in mealtime decisions, and just about every other decision I make to guide her tender young life, but she is waking up to them in the context of the ever-loosening boundaries around her teenage self. 

Now she makes many of her own meals start to finish with whatever she finds around the kitchen, often asking I not help at all, but I can still remember the other stages we’ve passed through together in the kitchen. Let’s count backwards to different times that called for different boundaries and freedoms.

At twelve this pesto would have been a fun activity to do with a friend and she might have scratched out a shopping list for me, full of pride for remembering which ingredients she preferred. At nine I might have reminded her that we sometimes do it with kale and sometimes with herbs, and asked her which she prefers this time? And at six, I probably laid out a few options, let her nibble a leaf of each and explained how their flavor and texture transforms through blanching, chopping and whizzing in the food processor. At three, I gave her a spoon to “help stir” and she just smeared it all over herself.

Put this pesto on soup, layered in lasagna, or maybe it’s what finally transforms a plain pasta with butter kid into a pasta with pesto kid. A perfect recipe and an as-close-to-perfect parenting moment as possible is feeling both free and held. You got this. 

Any-Green Pesto 
Makes about 1 1/3 cup

4 cups packed fresh tender greens and/or herbs (such as basil, parsley, mint, chives, dill, fennel fronds, baby spinach, baby kale as well), blanched (optional) and finely minced*
1-2 tablespoons minced garlic
1/2 cup (about 1 1/2 ounces) grated Parmesan cheese (can substitute Grana Padano, or Pecorino)
Zest and juice from 2 lemons (enough to yield 2 to 3 tablespoons juice) (can substitute lime or other citrus juice) 
1/2 cup toasted seeds and/or nuts (such as pepitas, sunflower seeds, pine nuts, walnuts, pecans, almonds or cashews), finely chopped
2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more if needed (or substitute other oils like walnut, avocado, etc.) 
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Crushed red pepper flakes, to taste (optional)

In a large mixing bowl, combine the greens, garlic, cheese, seeds/nuts, lemon zest and juice. Using a wooden spoon, mash the ingredients to thoroughly combine. While stirring and mashing, slowly stream in the oil to form a chunky paste. Season with salt, pepper and red pepper flakes, to taste. Taste for balance; add more citrus juice, if needed. 

This can also be made in a food processor or blender by pureeing the greens, garlic, cheese, seeds/nuts, and citrus together, then with the blade running, slowly pour in the oil until the sauce emulsifies, then season to taste with salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, and more citrus juice, if needed. 

Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to a week, or the freezer for up to three months.

*If using the food processor or blender method, you don’t need to mince the greens; a rough chop will suffice.